People-pleasing and Shadow-work

People-pleasing and Shadow-work

Listen to the podcast episode here.

The wonderful Leslie Phillips invited me for a chat on “The Shadow Shaman” podcast.

We spoke about all things people-pleasing, standing in self-loving boundaries, how to recognise an authentic yes/no, compassion as part of healing, and more…

Are you a people-pleaser?

Are you looking for a coach to guide you in owning your power to say ‘no, thanks’ without guilt?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

My business start-up story

My business start-up story

Listen to the podcast episode here.

The delightful Arora Crowne invited me for a chat on the “Sydney’s Start Up Stories” podcast.

We spoke about my journey in life and how I came to be so passionate about ethics in business, self-empowerment, radical self-responsibility, and more…

Do you work according to your personal values?

Are you looking for a coach to guide you in growing your ethical heart-centred business?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

Remembering who you have always been

Remembering who you have always been

The delightful Black Swan Sibyl interviews me about life, consciousness, awakening and more. We reflect on the current state of the world and the 3D / 5D experience.

Are you on an awakening journey?

Are you looking for a guide to walk beside you on the adventure of uncovering your true self?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

What is the cost of ignoring our Inner-Guidance?

What is the cost of ignoring our Inner-Guidance?


Hi everyone this is Artemiss from

I want to share a little story with you, a story of how I’ve come to be particularly passionate about connecting to our inner wisdom, trusting our own instinct above what the ‘authorities’ tell us – whoever those authorities might be: parents, teachers, friends, mentors, government, whatever… these are stories that have informed who I am and how I work, and in my business coaching I’m very passionate about empowering people to connect to their own wisdom rather than them taking what I say as fact.

Now of course, all this has come to the fore again, because during the Covid19 situation there’s a lot of conflicting ideas and I am personally very vocal about my ideas on my personal Facebook page but all of that aside there’s a certain gift in learning to connect to our own instinct and learning to trust that instinct.

Now, I’m going to share these two stories with you without filtering anything – I’m not going to bypass how I felt at the time that this happened just because now I have different perspective from an, you know, empowered adult situation so, I’m going to share with you how I experienced it in the time because that was what was real for me.

So, in the first instance – I grew up in America, I was there from age 7 to 15, and the schools I went to none of them had drawing class or art classes as part of the school program but I’ve always loved art so my parents used to put me into drawing classes over the summer holidays etc.

When we moved to Australia and we eventually settled on a school I was really really excited because our school had art as a subject that you could do in high school and so I went in full faith, full excitement… but unfortunately what I learned really quickly was that our art teacher had a very particular way of viewing art and how her students should do art. And she had a couple of her favourite students who did art the way she thought art should be done and the rest of us were basically shite.

She never outwardly – you know straight-out – told me that I sucked or I was terrible but there was this level of percolating judgment… it was never good enough, it was never… I just didn’t do it enough her way to warrant the encouragement that I would have wanted from a teacher to the point, that after year 10 finished, even though I knew I wanted to do something in the arts for university, I decided – I thought “I don’t have any artistic skills, like I can’t do art” because this teacher made me feel that I can’t do art. So for years 11 and 12 I did not do art and I literally did not pick up a pencil and draw for most of those two years because of what importance I had given this teacher’s effect on me and something that I had loved all of my life doing.

I was very fortunate that I happened to be with people in the area that my mom worked with, that even towards the end of that two years, even though I hadn’t done art for high school I said “you know I still think I want to do something in the arts” and she introduced me to some people so I ended up doing a year of Fine Arts and from there I had a portfolio and I went on to study graphic design and photography and then I worked in that industry for 20 years, which was brilliant… but that was the effect of one teacher in an area that had a lot of meaning to me.

Another experience happened about maybe 10-11 years ago. I had met this beautiful woman who was very spiritually gifted, very psychic, and just a good-hearted divine friend, and I went to her for healings and for learnings and she had a monthly gathering which just filled my cup to no end and I looked forward to it so much and for days after I’d be buzzing from the energy of the experiences I had. And she was, you know, as she just became a good friend as well and she also kind of mentored me unofficially, you know when she did a clearing for my house she talked about what she was doing and how to feel into the energies and that’s how I learned some of this stuff that I do.

But after a little while, after couple years you know I’d been with her and learned a lot of things and did things through her directly she met and aligned with a woman who had a particular way of working with certain energies, let’s call it that. And straight off, I just automatically thought that this friend of mine who is so spiritual, so gifted, so psychic, so very much more experienced than I am, if she trusts this other woman then obviously I should trust her because that’s just what I was doing, and even though sometimes there were little niggles that something didn’t feel right, I would talk myself out of it and I’d say “no no you don’t know you just don’t know enough because you know your friend trusts her”.

I can tell you the funniest thing was that my husband, who for those of you who’ve met him, he’s an incredibly practical pragmatic man, he’s also incredibly spiritual and psychic – when he met this other woman for the first time they clashed big time – that should have been a bit of a warning sign but again, the people-pleaser that I was, giving all of my power to the fact that my friend had trusted this woman meant that I was trying to soothe everything and make it pretty, get along… anyway I introduced a bunch of other friends to this lady and the work she did and we did have some amazing experiences with her work. And we also had huge moments of “wait there’s something not okay here” but each time that would happen I would backpedal and I would just go “you just don’t know enough, stop making a big deal out of this – you know your friend trusts her and this woman seems to know what she’s doing so just go with it.”

So I kept pushing back the doubts, I kept second-guessing myself, but then it sort of started getting to the point where it was really getting uncomfortable and my husband and I kind of pulled back for a couple of weeks, and then there was another event happening and we both just said “let’s drop the stories, let’s drop whatever we think is happening or not happening and let’s just go with no agenda and just see what happens at this event.”

We went and we both walked out going “oh my god what the f– was that?” It just felt so dark, it just felt so wrong on so many levels, and we just looked at each other and went okay there’s something we’re picking up on, it doesn’t matter if it’s okay for other people, it wasn’t okay for us and we kind of got to the point where we couldn’t ignore it anymore so what I actually did then – because I was finally taking our own feelings about this seriously – is I spoke to another four friends who are very into energy work, and I didn’t share with them our concerns I just said “can you feel into what’s going on in this particular circle and tell me what you think?” and they all came back that the woman who was offering the work was doing it from a good place but the energy she’s connected to was not.

I’m not going to get into that story but what it showed me was that we were picking up on the right things but we were logicing ourselves out of it because somebody I had put into a higher position of authority I was giving my power to her to make those decisions for me.

So we then respectfully pulled away from the group, did everything we needed to do to bring our own energy back into harmony and the only people that I specifically spoke to about this were my friends that, because of their trust in me, I had brought into that circle. I said “this is our experience, you stay or go based on whatever is right for you.”

Now, here’s an interesting thing – a couple of months later, my friend called and said “that lady had come back to town and she’d like to finish up the work, she realises that you know you guys had a clash of personalities or so but she doesn’t want to leave the work unfinished.”

And I went “actually it wasn’t a clash of personalities, we believe that the energy she was connected to was very malevolent and we don’t want to be part of that” and my friend said “oh well that’s interesting I didn’t know that.”

And then she made a comment, I can’t remember her exact words, but her comments were around the idea that my friend was not actually taking everything this woman was saying verbatim – she was picking and choosing the bits that made sense to her and applying that in a way that felt right to her.

It never occurred to me to do that – I’ve been so conditioned by family, society, education, wherever you want to put it – I had been so conditioned that I look to the authority and I had to swallow it whole and that’s what I done with this person.

So again, because of that experience, my spirituality, the way it runs in my mind was the way my blood runs into my body, it just affects everything but because of that particular experience and how it really shook me to the core that I hadn’t respected my own intuition about things but then that I had been so energetically affected by this darkness I literally didn’t do anything spiritual for over a year because I just lost that trust in myself.

I lost the trust in my ability to know what was right for me, and so from the fear of getting involved in anything that wasn’t good for me anymore I just didn’t get involved in anything, and that to me was like literally cutting off a limb but then slowly slowly slowly I started looking at “but you have to respect the fact that you have that instinct in the first place so let’s nurture that, let’s figure out how to make that instinct stronger, let’s figure out how to pay respect to that the next time something comes up” and then I started looking at where did these beliefs of mine come from? Where was I taught to give up so much of my power… and you know, and again and again, this has happened in my life – these are two big examples that stick out, but if anybody ever talks loudly and with confidence I tend to kind of go “oh they must be the expert.”

Because I’m a very heart centered person I do not like confrontation, I do not like the idea of upsetting people; I’m a peacekeeper people-pleaser through and through but while that can serve me in that I seek beautiful community and I want to connect heart to heart, the shadow of that is that I too readily give away my power as the price for keeping the peace or price of staying within the community, because my gosh if I question what’s going on and then I’m put on the outside, how does that work for me?!

So those are a couple of experiences that have repeatedly brought me to the brink of having to learn to connect in and to listen to my body – that hunch of the shoulders and the wrench in the gut, all the tightness of how am I responding to this situation, what am I believing or not believing, what am I just putting up with for the sake of keeping the peace? And again finding my voice without attacking the other person, finding my truth from a place of respecting myself while giving others the space to, you know, believe what they believe and that’s okay.

So when I’m working with my business clients, when I’m speaking to clients about their life positions or their parenting processes there are so many ideas of how things ‘should be’ done and they’re given to us and very – you know – voices of authority and people standing in positions of power, you know and sometimes a lot of what they say might make sense and readily apply to us but sometimes it doesn’t and for us to start giving ourselves permission to look at the message not just the messenger, to say that this and this feels good, sounds good, makes sense in my life but this and this doesn’t, instead of feeling like we have to swallow everything or take that person’s interpretation of the situation or our abilities, like with the art teacher, as the gospel truth.

So for me it’s all about internal guidance and I can lean into that because I really do believe that humans, left to their own divinity when they’re not connected to the darkness, we are beautiful people, we are capable of living heart centred lives that make us feel good about what we do and how we do it and the people we serve, and the beauty we put out into the world and how we parent our kids, I really do believe that.

So that’s just some story time for you about my particular passion about connecting to our own inner wisdom, to our instincts and how to bring more of that into our lives.

Thank you.

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2020

Has your inner-voice ever tried to warn you about something, only for you to ignore it?

Are you looking for a guide to help you strengthen your intuition so you can deeply trust your own wisdom?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

Are you looking for a Guru or a Guide?

Are you looking for a Guru or a Guide?


Hi everybody – this is Artemiss from

I want to have a little chat about something that keeps bubbling up right now – we are in April 2020, we’re in the middle of the Covid19 ‘pandemic lockdown’ – whatever you want to call the current situation happening around the world right now – and on my personal Facebook page I’m quite open with my opinion about things – which is not the issue here or the topic – but what’s happening is I have people messaging me, private messaging me, and saying “thank you for sharing your views, I agree but I don’t feel that I can share this information or speak publicly because I’m afraid of what my friends are going to say” etc – and that’s all fine… we only should ever speak up at the point that we feel safe and willing to do so voluntarily… but the side conversation, which is also incredibly interesting, is that some people are saying “I’m not worried about what my friends or family are thinking, I’m afraid of losing clients – or potential clients – because they might have a different view to what I would share”…

So it got me thinking – if you’ve ever heard me talk about marketing or read any of my website you know I’m very anti-guru – I believe that the only guru you need in your life is you – so this idea that we might potentially lose clients or prospects down the line because of our personal values or opinions that we’re sharing, is a really interesting concept when you think about “are we looking for a guru or are we looking for a guide?”

Now, I don’t have the answers here I’m just suggesting some questions to help us clarify because, for example, if I’m looking for say a nutritionist and I have very strong views about “I don’t want to have, I don’t want to ingest, I don’t want to eat GMO foods and I want to be as organically inclined as possible”, then those are the beliefs of a nutritionist that I would employ because where that nutritionist comes from is directly informed by his or her beliefs about the source of food and the type of food etc – but if that nutritionist happens to drive a certain brand of car that I do or do not like, does it make a difference to their ability to serve me fully in their capacity as a nutritionist? Maybe… maybe not.

Or say, as a business coach I also use business coaches because coaches need coaches… personally, I will not use any kind of scarcity or fear-mongering in my marketing because I strongly stand against that so if I’m employing a coach and their approach and their suggestions and the way they do their own marketing is around scarcity and fear-mongering then they’re absolutely out of the running for me because they’re showing me their values and for me I not only want to engage with the service I want to engage with the person behind the service which means their values are part of that. But, however, if this particular sales coach or business coach eats GMO foods or non-organic foods does it make a difference to the kind of advice and support they can give me as a coach?

So there’s the idea that when we’re looking for a guru we want this one perfect person that we can totally believe in… and it’s almost like giving up responsibility… our responsibilities to ourselves to discern, to see the person as separate to the message, as separate to what they’re offering us so that at every level we can actually say this piece of advice or guidance yes, this piece of advice or guidance no. And that’s where we need to step into our own power – whereas when we’re looking for a guru we want that one person that we could put aside our own responsibility and say “yes just tell me what to do, yes I’ll do that, yes I believe whatever you tell me to do, yes whatever you say is right, that’s where I’ll come from”… where’s the power in that?

The only guru you need is you – when we stand in a place of self-trust, self-love, self-respect then we can look at any piece of advice – which is really anything is: it’s advice, it’s opinion, it is not your truth until you decide it’s your truth – and that can come from our best friend, our parents, our children, our most trusted adviser, whatever… any piece of information or guidance is only an opinion until we decide it’s our truth.

We can also look at people in society or history and see how they’ve been idolised, which kind of removes them a bit from humanity. So I do like reading about historical figures and there’s a couple that are hailed beautifully in our society; so for example Mother Teresa she’s very very very known for being a humanitarian who helped a lot of people in situations where other people didn’t want to be involved. I was reading some articles about her and one of the things that is said – and to be honest I didn’t research it enough to say ‘yes it’s fact or not’ but it made me stop and think about what my personal opinion about Mother Teresa was and whether it affected all the other good things I believe she’s done – and that is that because of her personal opinions around suffering and connection to God she actually withheld pain relief from many of the people who were dying in her care because she believed that suffering was part of life. Now, whether or not that was her decision to make, whether or not that undoes any of the glory that we hold around her about the work that she did do – questions to ask, maybe… maybe not.

There’s also Nelson Mandela, yes a lot of us know that he had a particular start before he chose the peaceful route and that in his experience in prison and the momentous things he did after prison and his capacity to forgive and collaborate with the people who had imprisoned him, you know there’s so much to learn and be guided from his humanity. But the interesting thing is when I was reading one of his biographies it was talking about how while he was in prison and his daughter would write some letters he would edit them, correct them and then send them back to her.

Now I can tell you that as a daughter that would not sit well with me – you know, imagine trying to connect with your parent who’s taken away from you and all they’re doing is correcting you… but again that’s his role as a father, does it change him as the leader that we look up to – maybe… maybe not.

So as I said, I have no answers for you – what I’m suggesting is we start asking more questions, when we start having a reaction to someone and ask ourselves are we having a reaction because we want this person to be like a Smurf – a single-sided single emotion Smurf ‘I’m always happy, I’m always positive, I’m always whatever’ – are we looking for a guru or are we looking for a guide?

And how much responsibility are we taking that we can listen to someone and say yes, this piece of information resonates and no, this piece of information doesn’t resonate, without feeling like we have to attack them or negate them or change our overall impression about whatever good or ungood (now there’s a word) they have done in the world – so ask questions, trust your own inner wisdom to guide you to the answers that are right for you for those questions, but always keep an open mind that down the road you will continue to grow and you will continue to learn new information and then at any time it is up to you, your self-given freedom of sovereignty to change your opinion, to change what feels like your truth now.

So with that, let’s let go of our hero-worship, our guru-worship and just turn inside, connect to the guides that support us but always hold on to the absolute level of self-responsibility that allows us to say yes or no for what’s right for us and our family and our happiness and our inner peace.

Thank you.

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2020

Do you know you are the only guru you need?

Are you looking for a guide to help you own your power and personal truth?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

Personal and business alignment for success

Personal and business alignment for success

Listen to the podcast episode here.

The vivacious Leanne Shelton invited me for a chat on the “Marketing & Me” podcast.

We spoke about all things related to business and life alignment, wearing masks and authenticity, take full responsibility for ourselves, and more…

Are you woking in alignment?

Are you looking for a guide to support you in achieving authentic success?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

Why should you bring compassion to conflict?

Why should you bring compassion to conflict?


Hi everyone – it’s Artemiss.

In the current situation, with what’s going on around the world and in our own countries and communities, I wanted to share one thing that’s been helping me.

I’m not a therapist and I’m not an energy healer, but as someone who, through my own experience of depression, anxiety, and a nervous system that is easily triggered, I’ve created some hacks, if you like, for things that help me stay connected to my values of love and compassion even amidst behaviour that I don’t agree with.

And I really really firmly believe that whatever our personal beliefs about why and how things are happening and other people’s behaviour around it, that the biggest healing, the biggest resolution, the biggest gift we can bring to the situation is staying centred to our own sense of love and compassion and offering that to other people – even if we disagree with what they say or how they’re behaving.

We can still stand for what we firmly believe in without sinking into judgment and ridicule and finger-pointing etc. Because the energy of “why are they doing this, they’re so stupid” or “why are they doing more of this” or “oh look at those people doing that differently, I would never do that” – first of all, on a personal level, it fucks up our system – that amount of stress and holding on to that turmoil within weakens our system, makes our immune system have to work harder because of that chemical influx of stress hormones and all of the other stuff that is not something that our body is made to sustain for a long space.

But then we also have the energy that we’re offering to the world. If we’re bewildered by someone’s behaviour, fair enough, but if what we’re throwing at them is judgment and ridicule, all we’re doing is creating that bigger divide of us versus them – and I tell you that does not serve anybody’s higher good.

It does not serve the stability of the world, the empowerment of the government we wish we had who truly represents the people, it doesn’t connect us closer to the neighbours that we’re trying to build a community with. It certainly doesn’t make anybody who believes differently to us stop and say “I wonder what that’s about?” All they’re gonna do is be defensive – and they should be because that’s our natural instinct for survival if we’re attacked – we will defend, we’ll put our fists up, and we will close our ears down.

So if you, like me, believe that love and compassion is the way forward regardless of what your belief around the actual situation is then I invite you to use your own body and reaction as a mirror to what’s going on. Okay so if you’re reacting to someone from a place of judgment and ridicule – and I’ll put my hand up full transparency, I was totally on that with the whole toilet paper saga in the beginning until it clicked that people don’t behave how we’re seeing in some spaces if they did not feel already unsupported, unsafe.

So personally, for me, how I address that, how I want to be part of that rebalancing in the world is to offer love and compassion. So when I walk around in the shops like yesterday or reading stuff on Facebook and I feel triggered what I do is check in with myself – where in my body is that affecting me and then I take time to just calm down my nervous system reaction, calm my knee-jerk reaction because I honestly can’t do f- all from a place of anger and resentment.

So once I’ve got myself under control then it’s like “OK, how can I bring compassion and love to this situation even if we have different beliefs, even if I don’t agree with how people might be behaving towards something?”

And that is to understand that in their human condition, in their life experiences, they are doing the best they can – so if I seek to understand that so that the energy I’m bringing not only to my own body but people around me is one of compassion and kindness then the way I talk to people is going to be different; the energy I put when I see someone behaving in a certain way is going to be different.

Now this isn’t about turning a blind eye and pretending we don’t see things going on which we believe might be harmful to our families, our society, our country – so this is not about pretending we don’t know – this is about actively choosing how we show up in that moment of “conflict” and the idea that hate only breeds more hate. And by golly geez we don’t need more that shit, ok!

So if you stand for having a better world, if you stand for having a more compassionate population that supports each other and comes in together with community, speak your truth but speak it from love and compassion.

That’s my 2 cents, thanks.

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2020

Can you connect to your compassion even in the face of an argument?

Are you looking for a guide to help you deepen your resolve so you can stay heart-centred even when you passionately disagree with someone?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

The flow of business (and how to stop the leaks)

The flow of business (and how to stop the leaks)


I’m Artemiss from

And I’d like to share with you my metaphor for the tap, hose and bucket – representing how we play out in our business: what we put into it, how we deliver our services, and the end results we create.

If the tap is us – who we are and why we do business – this is where the vision, belief and knowledge comes from.

Some of the things which can break our tap, and so restrict our flow and effort, can be:

Not having a strong sense of discernment, so that instead of making decisions with confidence, we diminish our potential, we give away our power, and we let others direct our choices – or we just avoid taking full responsibility and learning from it.

We may also have limiting beliefs around money, our worthiness, our good-enoughness, so that we sabotage our own efforts and we keep playing small.

If we’ve never taken the time to truly articulate our personal values and purpose, we may not understand how we can direct them straight into our business, and can create a business that’s aligned with who we are and how we want to live in the world.

The hose is how we do business and who we serve.

Some of the issues which can poke holes in our hose, and reduce the effectiveness of what we do, can be:

Focusing on too many things, having lots of ideas and not knowing the throughline to follow, or chasing the next shiny item, so that we’re too spread out to be effective in anything and wasting a lot of time and energy.

We may also be trying to be everything to everyone instead of having a really clear idea of who our ideal clients are, so that we are speaking so generically and blandly that no one realises we’re actually talking to them.

Also, not being clear on what we actually offer so that we can educate, empower, and inspire our clients to thrive rather than just feeling we’re selling snake-oil to make a buck.

The bucket is the accumulative result of what we do in our business.

Some of the things which poke holes in our bucket, which means no matter how much effort we put in it’s never going to be enough, can be:

Our attitude around treating people as transactional and disposable, which means we’re constantly burning through prospects and alienating ideal clients – and more importantly, losing our humanity along the way.

Or if we’re using fear-based or other unethical tactics in sales and marketing, then not only does it feel not good for us, but it will also create distrust – and rightly so – because people will start seeing through them.

And very importantly, if we’re working according to someone else’s ideas about how business “should” be done or chasing those “ideal business goals” which are actually not in line with what we want in life, then no amount of success achieved this way will ever make us happy. So, we’re going to feel caught in the hamster wheel which is the quickest way to burn out.

So… what would it look like if everything was working fabulously?

Our tap – which is who we are and why we do business.

We would have confidence in making the best decisions for ourselves, trusting that we can tweak, learn, and grow from there; taking full responsibility for our choices.

We’d have great awareness of our beliefs and patterns, so instead of living in reaction we create from intentional action – and have so much more peace of mind.

And the joy of growing a business that makes us personally proud, because at its core it’s an extension of who we are as a person, is a great motivator.

With our hose – which is how we do business and who we serve:

By having clarity on our priorities and knowing what to focus on, we always know what our next step is, and so our results are amplified and come with much greater ease.

Understanding our ideal clients means we can serve them specifically, we can speak to them directly, and very importantly we can connect to them from our humanity.

Commitment to creating an ethically-profitable business while ALSO making a positive difference in the world – because those two are not mutually exclusive – means that we are more inspired, we dig deeper, we find ways through, we are much more solution orientated.

And with our bucket – which is the accumulative result of what we do in our business:

We have the knowing that the best path in business is through relationship building and mutual respect, that nurturing our clients and collaborating with those in our community is how we create sustainable growth.

By using ethical sales and marketing, we’re transparent and authentic in what we offer and the results we promise, so it just feels good!

Creating our own unique framework for business, so we’re setting authentic goals and working in a way that feels aligned with who we are and what we want in our life, makes all of the challenges and growth on the entrepreneurial journey truly worthwhile.

So, if this sounds like an approach to business that works for you, that excites you, that makes you see the possibilities that are there, then I invite you to connect with me for a 30-minute Let’s Talk discovery session.

And during this time we will get to know each other, I’ll give you a real experience of how I serve my clients – because there’s lots of different types of business coaches and we all work differently, so it’s really important that you find someone that you resonate with.

And in this time we will discuss your goals and challenges, explore some practical ideas for your next step, and in that we’ll define how I can support you in achieving your goals on your journey.

This is Artemiss from and I wish you sustainable joyous growth in your business with much grace and ease.

Thank you.


© Artemiss Keyhani, 2020

Are you aware of where the leaks in your business are?

Are you looking for a guide to help you plug the holes, and enjoy greater ease and success in your business?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.