25 ideas for self-care & asking for support (self-care pt 2)

25 ideas for self-care & asking for support (self-care pt 2)

by | Personal Development, Spiritual Growth

 

There are many ways you can genuinely self-care – from free options to paid services, some which can be done in 15 minutes and others which require an ongoing commitment.

Here are 25 ideas to get you started…

  1. Ask for what you need and be ok with the response
  2. Attend a spiritual circle and be supported by like-minded people
  3. Book that appointment you have been delaying and make sure you keep it
  4. Commit to gaining the support you need for an ongoing challenge
  5. Connect to your Higher Self and feel energised
  6. Consciously and slowly enjoy your favourite meal
  7. Curl up on your couch and have a nana-map with no guilt
  8. Dance to your favourite music and dare to take up space
  9. Delegate a task to someone then detach from the outcome
  10. Do a Tai Chi or Yoga class and flow with your body
  11. Do an intuitive reading for yourself and remember how amazing you are
  12. Express yourself through art and lose yourself in the process
  13. Get honest about what you’ve been tolerating for too long and make a plan to change it
  14. Have a heartfelt chat with a good friend and really allow them to SEE you
  15. Have a massage and melt into yourself
  16. Journal about anything… and everything
  17. Lay on the grass and connect to Earth and the sacredness of life
  18. Read for fun fun fun and enjoy it for its own sake
  19. Register for a course that inspires you then make sure you attend
  20. Say “no” to someone without any regret
  21. Spend a day unplugged from all of your devices
  22. Swim in the ocean and be cleansed by the energy of the waves
  23. Take a bath with magnesium salt or essential oils and forget about your to-do list
  24. Take a personal development course and see yourself with greater compassion
  25. Write a list of 7 specific things you’re grateful for right now

 

Self-sufficiency

So many of us over-achievers believe our approach of “I can do everything myself” is a super power, instead of recognising it as our potential kryptonite.

As a big fan of self-sufficiency, I always wanted to do everything on my own. I would research, speak to friends, and implement the ideas myself. I found this was usually beneficial in addressing the top layer of my issue, and I would get some ‘relief’. But, as I finally came to understand too well, the surface is never where the truth lives. So, I would then find myself still stuck in the issue, but with the added shame of having failed (“I should have been able to do this on my own by now”).

What I eventually realised is that by approaching myself with grace (instead of judgment or shame) I can allow myself to do what is possible on my own AND acknowledge where I needed support and let myself receive it.

 

Getting support

There are many beliefs in our society that actively work against your true sense of equilibrium and wellbeing.

One is the idea that asking for help is a weakness… yet, how often do you help others because you can see that they’re struggling? Can you admit to yourself when you’re struggling? You may be able to fool others – and even yourself some of the time – but how about when you’re lying in bed, depleted and unravelling?

The other is the idea that if you do seek support, then you are broken and need to be ‘fixed’. This suggests a specific start and end point (like when you take your broken phone to the kiosk and then it is as good as new in one-hour) rather that acknowledging that the journey of self-awareness is a never ending one with many ups and downs.

So, let’s acknowledge that there are times in life when you need extra support by professional healthcare and related services. And then give yourself permission to receive this without shame or any sense of personal failure.

And when you do ask for support, stay present to the understanding that allowing others to help you does not absolve your self-responsibility. You still have to show up and do the work for yourself, because you are the only one who can transform your thoughts and beliefs. But you can also allow yourself to lean in to the support and let others be there for you. Because you are made to thrive in community.

 

Further reading:

 

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: John Hain @Pixabay

Are you interested in true self-care for yourself?

Are you looking for a coach to guide you in holding stronger self-love boundaries?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

👉  Join our FREE Clarity Community for all things shadow work, intuition and personal development ~ or get into the game of actively healing your triggers, blocks and limiting beliefs by joining Spiral to Self membership program.

‘Pass the wine’… and other self-care fallacies (self-care pt 1)

‘Pass the wine’… and other self-care fallacies (self-care pt 1)

by | Personal Development, Spiritual Growth

 

When exactly did ‘self-care’ come to mean “Friday afternoon wine-o’clock” or buying another “but it was on sale” dress?

 

What self-care IS NOT…

Two of the biggest mistakes you can make, in terms of your health and wellbeing, is confusing your habit for distractions and coping mechanisms with true self-care.

Distractions are when you use certain ‘fixes’ to temporarily divert your attention, while coping mechanisms are the habits you have developed to feel (falsely) in control.

Both of these come into play when you are avoiding certain feelings which make you uncomfortable or challenged in some way, when you haven’t yet developed a pattern for making healthier choices.

 

What self-care actually IS…

Self-care – at its very essence – is about caring for yourself as the whole and divine being that you are. Your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.

This means proactively creating a life you don’t have to escape from with foggy-wine thoughts or glitzy-bag gloating. Of course, you can enjoy a glass of wine – and who doesn’t love a bargain buy – but these ‘me time’ activities are NOT the same (or a replacement for) genuine self-care.

As a direct reflection of your self-worth, self-care requires you to prioritise yourself and hold on to your self-loving boundaries even when it feels tough to do so. It requires you to sometimes say ‘no’ to others so you can say ‘yes’ to yourself more often.

 

Something for you to explore…

Consider these scenarios and pay attention to the conversation in your head…

If you have an ongoing health concern, do you schedule your appointments well in advance with a preventative / maintenance approach OR book them at the last minute when something goes wrong?

If you have scheduled free time for yourself in a few days and then a friend asks you to run some (non-urgent) errands for her at that same time, do you say yes OR no?

If you have your schedule for tomorrow planned at a pace that feels just right for you and then a client calls in a panic again (as she has done many times before), do you defer her to another day OR jostle everything so you can squeeze her in?

Please understand that this is not about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – but an opportunity to notice your inner dialogue and ask yourself if you’re truly happy and at ease with those patterns.

If you recognise that your beliefs aren’t supporting you in living your best life then engaging in personal development and/or counselling can serve you well by allowing you to create a different reality for yourself.

 

Consequences of running on empty

If you leave your self-care for the rare moments when you aren’t over-committed to others, how can you stay centred and aligned with your values and purpose? How will your cup be filled to overflowing so that you can support others without it costing your health and peace of mind?

If you think “I don’t have time for self-care” then consider what is the COST (time and money, as well as your equilibrium) for when you’re running on empty. Here are some examples.

  • Physical – adrenal burnout, digestive issues, low immunity, sore or tight muscles, poor sleep quality.
  • Mental – foggy thinking, easily distracted, difficulty making decisions, anxiety, constant mind chatter.
  • Emotional – short fuse with kids/partner, not present to client/customer, self-flagellation, resorting to poor habits, blaming others.
  • Spiritual – disconnected from your intuition, doubting your gut-instinct, losing sight of your purpose, not living with your values, energetically drained.

If you can admit and embrace – without having to defend or feel shame about – being truly human and not indestructible, then perhaps you can recognise that making the time to nurture yourself at the core is ESSENTIAL (and not a luxury) for being healthy and whole.

 

Further reading:

25 ideas for self-care & asking for support (self-care pt 2)

 

 

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: John Hain @Pixabay

Are you interested in true self-care for yourself?

Are you looking for a coach to guide you in transforming your lack of self-care patterns?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

👉  Join our FREE Clarity Community for all things shadow work, intuition and personal development ~ or get into the game of actively healing your triggers, blocks and limiting beliefs by joining Spiral to Self membership program.

Truthfully… about me

Truthfully… about me

by | Personal Development, Spiritual Growth

Following from an amazing photo shoot in the NSW Blue Mountains with Sarah Keen of Truthfully, she sent me some of the most interesting interview questions I have ever experienced… this is my essay in reply.

I am an Intuitive Shadow-Walker, Inner-Journey-Guide, Sacred-Space-Holder. But let’s call it what it is: I am a Sh!t-Shoveler (except I bring the excavator instead).

I work with awesome people who have accepted that they are responsible for the problems in their life AND that they are the beautiful and amazing solutions too.

By uncovering their strengths and values through spiritual growth and personal development, I guide them from sinking in overwhelm, confusion, disillusionment, and frustration to living with confidence, certainty, inspiration, and flow.

I am very privileged that my work allows me to connect with people at their very core. Of course, each person chooses – consciously or unconsciously – how they show up and how much of themselves they want to share with me, but even at the smallest level they have to be willing to be seen beyond their masks, otherwise they would never choose to come to me as a client in the first place. 

I connect with a lot of people around the world through Facebook groups; local entrepreneurs through networking events; and friends whom I collaborate and/or bounce ideas around with online and in real life.

Although I am an introvert, I very much experience myself through relationships, so authentic connections are what fill my joy-love-cup up on a regular basis.

I love love love robust juicy conversations about spirituality and all the things that make humans tick – whether referring to world politics, ethical business, parenting ideals, relationship journeys, or anything else, exploring our inner-world is my playground and work-space!

I used to hold a lot of shame and guilt around my actions and feelings which prevented me from sharing authentically, but on my own healing journey I have embodied deep levels of self-trust and integration around my ‘positives’ and ‘negatives’, my strengths and challenges, my gifts and flaws. So now, whether with clients or friends, I am an open book.

I gratefully share about all aspects of my life, especially the ‘darker’ or more challenging topics (such as depression, self-doubt, lack of worth etc), because I feel it is important to remove the stigma and normalise conversing about these issues which affect far more of us than many may realise.

I find most people open up to me readily and are eager to share. Sometimes I do sense that someone is holding back from uncertainty or feeling vulnerable, so I meet them where they’re at and do what I can to help them feel supported from there.

I feel that people share with me because of my personal energy – amplified by the opportunity through the work I do. Clients have told me that it was after meeting me and feeling that they would be safe being vulnerable with me, that they then sought out my services.

Because I sense energy, when I pick up on an incongruence between what people are feeling, saying, and doing, I may (depending on circumstances) gently offer them an opening to go deeper than the surface conversation.

Some people don’t want to go there and I fully respect that. But many times, people feel so relieved to be SEEN beyond the surface that they invite me in and we connect from there.

For example, a mum who is juggling her business and children and feeling unsupported and/or guilty might make an off-hand comment about her partner and/or the stress in her life, and instead of glossing over it (bypassing or placating), I open my heart-energy to her and ask a light question about her place in things, and suddenly she recognises that she doesn’t have to hold the pretence with me and can relax more into herself.… and a whole different conversation ensues.

I love love love when people share their true selves with me. I feel so honoured to be allowed into people’s inner-world, whether through my work or private life.

I have a deep love for humanity and holding space for each person’s greatest potential, so anytime I am offered insight into someone’s personal realm is a true privilege.

The biggest reasons people avoid telling me things are guilt and shame. These emotions colour everything we feel with a deeper level of harm, and I can sense it in the person’s energy when speaking with them.

The great paradox is that most people hide behind their guilt/shame when what they deeply crave is to be seen beyond those masks.

The personal truths that I observe through people’s actions and energy (as opposed to what they say) is mostly around how centred they are within themselves – how connected they are to their TRUE selves – their truth and values, rather than the layers of beliefs they have taken on because of family, society, other influences.

There is a certain crystalline clarity and lightness of being around those who are centred with themselves.

I do love observing others’ interactions, the ‘dance’ of emotions, beliefs, words, and actions between multiple people. The personal truths which show clearly to me in observing this comes down to how embodied they are – how aligned their bodies, minds, hearts, and souls… do they slip in and out of different masks based on who they’re interacting with, or do they remain true to themselves even as they consciously lean in/out of a situation?

Humans are social creatures who can use relationships as a path to understanding themselves… if we go beyond venting and gossiping to true heart-felt conversation.

Being able to share our story – without fear of being judged – is a rare but important part of unpacking our ideas and beliefs. To be supported as we look at each childhood belief which is affecting our life now, and decide what serves us and can be amplified, and what doesn’t serve us and can be healed and released, is profound and life-changing.

This witnessing – having someone understand our pain and celebrate our win – touches us at the deepest part of who we are and how we experience our impact on the world. This is the core of the work I do.

I bring ALL of my true self to my work, because the integrity I stand in directly affects my clients who are inviting me into their energy space.

Unlike what most people may assume, this doesn’t mean that I have to be 100% happy and sparkly all of the time… because emotional authenticity is more important than the emotion itself.

Being centred in my divine humanity (flaws and all) is the most important thing I can do in how I serve others. In this space, my intuition is at its strongest, my mind the clearest, and my heart the most compassionate. And that is what I choose to bring to my clients every day.

I wish for people to recognise the amazing and fulfilling life they can create if they are willing to go on the journey of inner-awareness. This doesn’t mean that challenges don’t happen and everything is unicorns-and-rainbows ever after – but it does mean that their ability to ride the highs and lows comes with greater ease, that they find more joy and peace in all the little things, and that life just becomes so much more freaking awesome.

One of the most important things to understand on the personal development journey is that no one can do the work and find the answers but you. BUT you also do not have to do it on your own. In fact, taking full responsibility for yourself WHILE allowing others to support you creates a synergistic flow that supports healing much faster and deeper.

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: Sarah Keen @Truthfullyau

Are you looking for a coach to guide your journey of self-awareness?

Are you willing to show-up for yourself and do the work required to actively create a life that excites and fulfills you?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

👉  Join our FREE Clarity Community for all things shadow work, intuition and personal development ~ or get into the game of actively healing your triggers, blocks and limiting beliefs by joining Spiral to Self membership program.

Intuition (pt 4) ~ Is it your Ego or Soul speaking?

Intuition (pt 4) ~ Is it your Ego or Soul speaking?

by | Personal Development, Spiritual Growth

An important part of connecting to and strengthening your intuition is learning to differentiate between your fear-driven Ego and love-inspired Soul.

This is also an essential part of developing your discernment – your ability to know what is your truth, separate and beyond the many layers of influence constantly pushing against you.

 

Your Ego and Soul

Your Ego is formed around your child-self who carries many limiting beliefs and stories, and often tries to keep you safe by having you play small and not take risks.

Your Soul is the eternal part of you that knows, unquestioningly, that you are loved and safe and here to play the big game of life.

When you have travelled on the self-awareness journey for a little while, and come to understand your child-self through compassion and kindness, you will be able to integrate and heal all aspect of yourself.

The more integrated you are, the less divide between your Ego and Soul, and the more centred and empowered you are as a whole being.

Use the table below as a starting point to review with the messages you are receiving, and sense if they are coming from your Ego or Soul… but remember that the nuances of your personal experience is where your truth lives, so pay attention to how YOUR feel and create a more specific guideline for yourself based on that.

 

Ego Soul
asks you to give your power to others asks you to stand in your own power
your social mask your true essence, connected to Source
needs the approval of others to feel worthy doesn’t take others’ opinions personally
uses labels to separate you from others recognises the divinity in others, the connections between all
trapped in time, concerned about the past or future; regret, shame, anxiety, fear always IN THE PRESENT, in the NOW
pushes, has hyped-energy, often running in fight/flight/freeze mode doesn’t rush you, gently guides you with opportunities, gut-feelings

 

Further reading:

Intuition (pt 1) ~ What is it good for?

Intuition (pt 2) ~ Imagination and connection tools

Intuition (pt 3) ~ 10 steps to strengthen your intuition

 

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: Sarah Keen @Truthfullyau

Are you interested in strengthening your intuition?

Are you looking for a coach to guide you in achieving a deeper connection to your inner-wisdom?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

👉  Join our FREE Clarity Community for all things shadow work, intuition and personal development ~ or get into the game of actively healing your triggers, blocks and limiting beliefs by joining Spiral to Self membership program.