There are many ways you can genuinely self-care – from free options to paid services, some which can be done in 15 minutes and others which require an ongoing commitment.

Here are 25 ideas to get you started…

1. Ask for what you need and be ok with the response
2. Attend a spiritual circle and be supported by like-minded people
3. Book that appointment you have been delaying and make sure you keep it
4. Commit to gaining the support you need for an ongoing challenge
5. Connect to your Higher Self and feel energised
6. Consciously and slowly enjoy your favourite meal
7. Curl up on your couch and have a nana-map with no guilt
8. Dance to your favourite music and dare to take up space
9. Delegate a task to someone then detach from the outcome
10. Do a Tai Chi or Yoga class and flow with your body
11. Do an intuitive reading for yourself and remember how amazing you are
12. Express yourself through art and lose yourself in the process
13. Get honest about what you’ve been tolerating for too long and make a plan to change it
14. Have a heartfelt chat with a good friend and really allow them to SEE you
15. Have a massage and melt into yourself
16. Journal about anything… and everything
17. Lay on the grass and connect to Earth and the sacredness of life
18. Read for fun fun fun and enjoy it for its own sake
19. Register for a course that inspires you then make sure you attend
20. Say “no” to someone without any regret
21. Spend a day unplugged from all of your devices
22. Swim in the ocean and be cleansed by the energy of the waves
23. Take a bath with magnesium salt or essential oils and forget about your to-do list
24. Take a personal development course and see yourself with greater compassion
25. Write a list of 7 specific things you’re grateful for right now

Self-sufficiency

So many of us over-achievers believe our approach of “I can do everything myself” is a super power, instead of recognising it as our potential kryptonite.

As a big fan of self-sufficiency, I always wanted to do everything on my own. I would research, speak to friends, and implement the ideas myself. I found this was usually beneficial in addressing the top layer of my issue, and I would get some ‘relief’. But, as I finally came to understand too well, the surface is never where the truth lives. So, I would then find myself still stuck in the issue, but with the added shame of having failed (“I should have been able to do this on my own by now”).

What I eventually realised is that by approaching myself with grace (instead of judgment or shame) I can allow myself to do what is possible on my own AND acknowledge where I needed support and let myself receive it.

Getting support

There are many beliefs in our society that actively work against your true sense of equilibrium and wellbeing.

One is the idea that asking for help is a weakness… yet, how often do you help others because you can see that they’re struggling? Can you admit to yourself when you’re struggling? You may be able to fool others – and even yourself some of the time – but how about when you’re lying in bed, depleted and unravelling?

The other is the idea that if you do seek support, then you are broken and need to be ‘fixed’. This suggests a specific start and end point (like when you take your broken phone to the kiosk and then it is as good as new in one-hour) rather that acknowledging that the journey of self-awareness is a never ending one with many ups and downs.

So, let’s acknowledge that there are times in life when you need extra support by professional healthcare and related services. And then give yourself permission to receive this without shame or any sense of personal failure.

And when you do ask for support, stay present to the understanding that allowing others to help you does not absolve your self-responsibility. You still have to show up and do the work for yourself, because you are the only one who can transform your thoughts and beliefs. But you can also allow yourself to lean in to the support and let others be there for you. Because you are made to thrive in community.

Further reading:

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: John Hain @Pixabay

👉  Join our FREE Clarity Community for all things shadow work, intuition and personal development ~ or get into the game of actively healing your triggers, blocks and limiting beliefs by joining Spiral to Self membership program.

When exactly did ‘self-care’ come to mean “Friday afternoon wine-o’clock” or buying another “but it was on sale” dress?

What self-care IS NOT…

Two of the biggest mistakes you can make, in terms of your health and wellbeing, is confusing your habit for distractions and coping mechanisms with true self-care.

Distractions are when you use certain ‘fixes’ to temporarily divert your attention, while coping mechanisms are the habits you have developed to feel (falsely) in control.

Both of these come into play when you are avoiding certain feelings which make you uncomfortable or challenged in some way, when you haven’t yet developed a pattern for making healthier choices.

What self-care actually IS…

Self-care – at its very essence – is about caring for yourself as the whole and divine being that you are. Your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.

This means proactively creating a life you don’t have to escape from with foggy-wine thoughts or glitzy-bag gloating. Of course, you can enjoy a glass of wine – and who doesn’t love a bargain buy – but these ‘me time’ activities are NOT the same (or a replacement for) genuine self-care.

As a direct reflection of your self-worth, self-care requires you to prioritise yourself and hold on to your self-loving boundaries even when it feels tough to do so. It requires you to sometimes say ‘no’ to others so you can say ‘yes’ to yourself more often.

Something for you to explore…

Consider these scenarios and pay attention to the conversation in your head…

If you have an ongoing health concern, do you schedule your appointments well in advance with a preventative / maintenance approach OR book them at the last minute when something goes wrong?

If you have scheduled free time for yourself in a few days and then a friend asks you to run some (non-urgent) errands for her at that same time, do you say yes OR no?

If you have your schedule for tomorrow planned at a pace that feels just right for you and then a client calls in a panic again (as she has done many times before), do you defer her to another day OR jostle everything so you can squeeze her in?

Please understand that this is not about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – but an opportunity to notice your inner dialogue and ask yourself if you’re truly happy and at ease with those patterns.

If you recognise that your beliefs aren’t supporting you in living your best life then engaging in personal development and/or counselling can serve you well by allowing you to create a different reality for yourself.

Consequences of running on empty

If you leave your self-care for the rare moments when you aren’t over-committed to others, how can you stay centred and aligned with your values and purpose? How will your cup be filled to overflowing so that you can support others without it costing your health and peace of mind?

If you think “I don’t have time for self-care” then consider what is the COST (time and money, as well as your equilibrium) for when you’re running on empty. Here are some examples.

• Physical – adrenal burnout, digestive issues, low immunity, sore or tight muscles, poor sleep quality.
• Mental – foggy thinking, easily distracted, difficulty making decisions, anxiety, constant mind chatter.
• Emotional – short fuse with kids/partner, not present to client/customer, self-flagellation, resorting to poor habits, blaming others.
• Spiritual – disconnected from your intuition, doubting your gut-instinct, losing sight of your purpose, not living with your values, energetically drained.

If you can admit and embrace – without having to defend or feel shame about – being truly human and not indestructible, then perhaps you can recognise that making the time to nurture yourself at the core is ESSENTIAL (and not a luxury) for being healthy and whole.

Further reading:

25 ideas for self-care & asking for support (self-care pt 2)

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: John Hain @Pixabay

👉  Join our FREE Clarity Community for all things shadow work, intuition and personal development ~ or get into the game of actively healing your triggers, blocks and limiting beliefs by joining Spiral to Self membership program.