25 ideas for self-care & asking for support (self-care pt 2)

25 ideas for self-care & asking for support (self-care pt 2)

 

There are many ways you can genuinely self-care – from free options to paid services, some which can be done in 15 minutes and others which require an ongoing commitment.

Here are 25 ideas to get you started…

  1. Ask for what you need and be ok with the response
  2. Attend a spiritual circle and be supported by like-minded people
  3. Book that appointment you have been delaying and make sure you keep it
  4. Commit to gaining the support you need for an ongoing challenge
  5. Connect to your Higher Self and feel energised
  6. Consciously and slowly enjoy your favourite meal
  7. Curl up on your couch and have a nana-map with no guilt
  8. Dance to your favourite music and dare to take up space
  9. Delegate a task to someone then detach from the outcome
  10. Do a Tai Chi or Yoga class and flow with your body
  11. Do an intuitive reading for yourself and remember how amazing you are
  12. Express yourself through art and lose yourself in the process
  13. Get honest about what you’ve been tolerating for too long and make a plan to change it
  14. Have a heartfelt chat with a good friend and really allow them to SEE you
  15. Have a massage and melt into yourself
  16. Journal about anything… and everything
  17. Lay on the grass and connect to Earth and the sacredness of life
  18. Read for fun fun fun and enjoy it for its own sake
  19. Register for a course that inspires you then make sure you attend
  20. Say “no” to someone without any regret
  21. Spend a day unplugged from all of your devices
  22. Swim in the ocean and be cleansed by the energy of the waves
  23. Take a bath with magnesium salt or essential oils and forget about your to-do list
  24. Take a personal development course and see yourself with greater compassion
  25. Write a list of 7 specific things you’re grateful for right now

 

Self-sufficiency

So many of us over-achievers believe our approach of “I can do everything myself” is a super power, instead of recognising it as our potential kryptonite.

As a big fan of self-sufficiency, I always wanted to do everything on my own. I would research, speak to friends, and implement the ideas myself. I found this was usually beneficial in addressing the top layer of my issue, and I would get some ‘relief’. But, as I finally came to understand too well, the surface is never where the truth lives. So, I would then find myself still stuck in the issue, but with the added shame of having failed (“I should have been able to do this on my own by now”).

What I eventually realised is that by approaching myself with grace (instead of judgment or shame) I can allow myself to do what is possible on my own AND acknowledge where I needed support and let myself receive it.

 

Getting support

There are many beliefs in our society that actively work against your true sense of equilibrium and wellbeing.

One is the idea that asking for help is a weakness… yet, how often do you help others because you can see that they’re struggling? Can you admit to yourself when you’re struggling? You may be able to fool others – and even yourself some of the time – but how about when you’re lying in bed, depleted and unravelling?

The other is the idea that if you do seek support, then you are broken and need to be ‘fixed’. This suggests a specific start and end point (like when you take your broken phone to the kiosk and then it is as good as new in one-hour) rather that acknowledging that the journey of self-awareness is a never ending one with many ups and downs.

So, let’s acknowledge that there are times in life when you need extra support by professional healthcare and related services. And then give yourself permission to receive this without shame or any sense of personal failure.

And when you do ask for support, stay present to the understanding that allowing others to help you does not absolve your self-responsibility. You still have to show up and do the work for yourself, because you are the only one who can transform your thoughts and beliefs. But you can also allow yourself to lean in to the support and let others be there for you. Because you are made to thrive in community.

 

Further reading:

 

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: John Hain @Pixabay

Are you interested in true self-care for yourself?

Are you looking for a coach to guide you in holding stronger self-love boundaries?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

‘Pass the wine’… and other self-care fallacies (self-care pt 1)

‘Pass the wine’… and other self-care fallacies (self-care pt 1)

 

When exactly did ‘self-care’ come to mean “Friday afternoon wine-o’clock” or buying another “but it was on sale” dress?

 

What self-care IS NOT…

Two of the biggest mistakes you can make, in terms of your health and wellbeing, is confusing your habit for distractions and coping mechanisms with true self-care.

Distractions are when you use certain ‘fixes’ to temporarily divert your attention, while coping mechanisms are the habits you have developed to feel (falsely) in control.

Both of these come into play when you are avoiding certain feelings which make you uncomfortable or challenged in some way, when you haven’t yet developed a pattern for making healthier choices.

 

What self-care actually IS…

Self-care – at its very essence – is about caring for yourself as the whole and divine being that you are. Your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.

This means proactively creating a life you don’t have to escape from with foggy-wine thoughts or glitzy-bag gloating. Of course, you can enjoy a glass of wine – and who doesn’t love a bargain buy – but these ‘me time’ activities are NOT the same (or a replacement for) genuine self-care.

As a direct reflection of your self-worth, self-care requires you to prioritise yourself and hold on to your self-loving boundaries even when it feels tough to do so. It requires you to sometimes say ‘no’ to others so you can say ‘yes’ to yourself more often.

 

Something for you to explore…

Consider these scenarios and pay attention to the conversation in your head…

If you have an ongoing health concern, do you schedule your appointments well in advance with a preventative / maintenance approach OR book them at the last minute when something goes wrong?

If you have scheduled free time for yourself in a few days and then a friend asks you to run some (non-urgent) errands for her at that same time, do you say yes OR no?

If you have your schedule for tomorrow planned at a pace that feels just right for you and then a client calls in a panic again (as she has done many times before), do you defer her to another day OR jostle everything so you can squeeze her in?

Please understand that this is not about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – but an opportunity to notice your inner dialogue and ask yourself if you’re truly happy and at ease with those patterns.

If you recognise that your beliefs aren’t supporting you in living your best life then engaging in personal development and/or counselling can serve you well by allowing you to create a different reality for yourself.

 

Consequences of running on empty

If you leave your self-care for the rare moments when you aren’t over-committed to others, how can you stay centred and aligned with your values and purpose? How will your cup be filled to overflowing so that you can support others without it costing your health and peace of mind?

If you think “I don’t have time for self-care” then consider what is the COST (time and money, as well as your equilibrium) for when you’re running on empty. Here are some examples.

  • Physical – adrenal burnout, digestive issues, low immunity, sore or tight muscles, poor sleep quality.
  • Mental – foggy thinking, easily distracted, difficulty making decisions, anxiety, constant mind chatter.
  • Emotional – short fuse with kids/partner, not present to client/customer, self-flagellation, resorting to poor habits, blaming others.
  • Spiritual – disconnected from your intuition, doubting your gut-instinct, losing sight of your purpose, not living with your values, energetically drained.

If you can admit and embrace – without having to defend or feel shame about – being truly human and not indestructible, then perhaps you can recognise that making the time to nurture yourself at the core is ESSENTIAL (and not a luxury) for being healthy and whole.

 

Further reading:

25 ideas for self-care & asking for support (self-care pt 2)

 

 

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2021
Photo: John Hain @Pixabay

Are you interested in true self-care for yourself?

Are you looking for a coach to guide you in transforming your lack of self-care patterns?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.

Dancing with my (Divine) Self

Dancing with my (Divine) Self

Escaping to retreats in the wilderness or doing workshops away from the interruptions of daily life are powerful ways to break through your personal blocks and find deeper connection with your Divine Self.

But how do you bridge the experience-gap after such an event and apply your new found spiritual connection within the demands of your busy schedule?

Or what if it’s not even possible for you to make such an escape in the first place?

The great news is that you can access your Divine Self through sacred ritual and intentional action, starting where you are right now, using whatever is readily available.

Rituals are a powerful way for you to enter sacred space where you can better connect with your Divine Self. Anything can be deemed sacred just because you decide it is so, and intentional action is when you consciously choose your path and actively work towards it.

Here are three ideas:

  1. Transform something you already do every day into an opportunity to connect to your Divine Self. For example, as you shower in the morning, visualise the water washing over you as a golden light cleansing away all of your worries.

Feel Universal Love fill your body. Take a moment to ask your Divine Self what message you can keep in your heart today and see what comes to you.

  1. Dress yourself to align with the vibration you desire that day. Sometimes you may crave dark colours to help you feel grounded, while other days you need bright tones to lift your energy. Or perhaps you can wear the special necklace your grandmother gave you so you can find strength in her loving memory to support you through a challenging time.
  1. Forgive yourself. One of the biggest sources of disconnection from your Divine Self is your guilt or sense of not being good enough.

You can either do this while in an energised state (eg dancing to your favourite high vibe song) or in a relaxed state (eg when preparing to go to sleep). Once you have become centred in that activity ask yourself “What do I need to forgive myself for right now?” Don’t analyse the answer, but accept the first thing that pops in your mind (it can be as simple as burning the roast or something significant like arguing with a loved one). This is not the time to get stuck in the details but to merely send compassion to yourself, sealing it with the affirmation of “I forgive and love myself completely”.

Bring awareness to your every day habits and see what fun you can have creating meaningful rituals that keep you in touch with your Divine Self. Because life is much better when you work in partnership with yourself.

And bonus points for rocking out with Billy Idol’s “Dancing with myself”… just because.

 

© Artemiss Keyhani, 2019
Photo: Perlinator from Pixabay

Do you have an abundance of Soul-full moments in your day?

Are you looking for a guide to help you create meaningful rituals and other ways of connecting to your Soul and inner-wisdom?

If yes, I would love to connect with you and explore how I can support you.

Let’s Talk.